Nothing to say! I'm back!

So, I'm way worse that what I thought! I could not continue the writing as planned. Even worse, I could not keep up with my plans. But, that's on the past...

I've decided to focus, plan and execute.

For one, I've withdrawn from social media. Deactivated my Facebook and Twitter accounts and unsubscribed many YouTube channels. I read that being online makes you lose concentration and focus. I think I need to spend less time on distraction sources and be more focused. I really need to get things done at this point. So, here's what I'm going to do:

 - I need to defend my thesis.
 - in order to do that I need to (1) write paper #3, (2) write paper #4, (3) write the rest of my Thesis, (4) have all of the above read and commented on by les 3.

(1) paper #3
 1.1. collect and gather all results and organise in a bunch of slides
 1.2. create a template/skeleton for the paper
 1.3. write a first draft
 1.4. continue when all previous tasks are done

(2) paper #4
 2.1 create a complete and thought through experimental plan, considering all samples required for Sawsen, Phobic2Ice, etc.
 2.2 prepare for experiments and execute, use help from Hani and Tahmineh if necessary
 2.3 collect and gather all results and organise in a bunch of slides
 2.4. create a template/skeleton for the paper
 2.5. write a first draft
 2.6. continue when all previous tasks are done

(3) write rest of thesis
 3.1. create a content table and start writing

(4) proof read and comments

I am horrible!

I am really truly a horrible person. I could not stay committed to my goals for even a short while! a few days and it was gone! but I have to change! I need the change!

I have changed things in me. Change is not impossible. For example I lost weight, the thing that I've been trying to do for such a long time. I am completely smoke free now. I drink much less alcohol. And physically, though far from ideal, I have changed greatly in the past year. So, one thing is for sure: change is not impossible. I have to take advantage of my strike. I need to focus and work hard to do this!

First, a couple of updates: it's official, my parents are visiting this summer along with my grandmother. How awesome is that?! And this is so important to me on multiple sides. When I think of the last tie my parents visited, it does not strike me as incredibly good experience. I am going to make this time much greater. Also, Maadar, my lovely grandmother is coming with them. This is the first time she is coming to Canada and as sad as it is to admit, it might be one of the last times I have a relatively long time to spend with her. You never know, life is pretty tricky. But naturally, I will be much busier after graduation and it will be harder for her to come here as well. So, there's one more reason for making this summer great again! :-)
Furthermore, I admit that I already have lost the chance to graduate in spring, but I certainly, certainly, certainly have to finish my thesis before they come and this is super, duper important.

So here are the reasons why I need to be finished with my thesis by mid-May and stay motivated:
1- My parents are visiting and I do not want to be worried about my thesis while they're here.
2- I am most likely teaching a course on Fall and I do not want to have thesis work left then.
3- Enough is enough, time to go to the next stage in my life.
4- We are moving to the new apartment and it means a new life.

CHANGE IS GREAT, EMBRACE CHANGE

Now, the big question remains, how do I want to do this:

First, I have to determine what needs to be done. When I say I need to be finished with my thesis what do I mean?

Finish my thesis: finish writing the manuscript, have it read and commented on, finalize the manuscript and submit. I accept that I may not be able to do the defense, but may be I do!!!

How do I want to do that? well, the major remaining things are:
1- icing experiments
2- splatology experiments
3- writing icing chapter
4- writing splatology chapter
5- writing introduction and rest of the thesis

Among these, the icing experiment will happen during two weeks from now after Ali and Shahin finish theirs. The splatology tests happen when the TSL is operational. So now I am left with writing. Since the most available and easy to write is the introduction of the thesis, I will be working on those in the coming days.

Additionally, since I clearly demonstrated that I cannot write daily posts, I will try to write at least two posts a week. Next post, timeline of my work all the way to May.

I'm late! As usual - Day 2

Ok, ok! I know! I am late! I failed to deliver on the second day! it's horrible! what can I say?!

I can bring lots of excuses. I was busy, had many things to do. I went playing squash with my supervisor (I couldn't say no to him!) Then I had squash clinic. Then went to cinema to watch Star Wars: Rogue One which by the way was nice but had a very sad ending :-(

But what matters in the end is that I didn't do it! I couldn't stay true to my commitment in the first day, and that's lame! I'm sorry! I apologise to myself.

Anyways, let's go to the important stuff, since I am also very busy today. Just quickly, I should mention that I have three major tasks today which I am going to take care of right after this and by the way I am writing and publishing this on Wednesday, but I consider it my Tuesday's post and will later write another post for Wednesday! I am doing this just to convince myself that I technically did publish one post per day and therefore I didn't really fail! Because if I have failed myself so quickly in the beginning, there's no hope to keep-up for 100 days. So, ok, this is Tuesday's post!

Before writing this post, I wanted it to be about five things that I would like to improve in 2017, you know, just to mirror my first post of five things for which I liked 2016. But now, I think I should do it some other time, because it needs a calmer mind and more preparation which I don't have right now. Therefore, instead I am going to quickly report the highlight of my days one and two (Monday and Tuesday) and wrap up.

On Monday, I wrote my first post and made myself happy about 2016. I did some work for Green SEAMS project and then prepared the first problem set for the course MECH 321 for which I am a TA this semester. I went to play squash after nearly three weeks and in addition to having fun, it was confirmed that I didn't gain extra weight during the holidays, which is awesome.

On Tuesday, I wrote a couple of paragraphs on anti-icing coatings for Green SEAMS, trained Alexandre on the confocal microscope. I played squash with my supervisor for six games and I beat him for the first time in one game! I think he kind of allowed me to win by not doing his best, but generally I was happy with my squash and I think I am improving. Bahareh and I went to squash clinic afterwards. The instructor is nice (I just found out that his name is Giovanni) and I think he will help us both improve further. Bahareh and I I went watching Rogue One with Arash, Arash, Behrang. It was nice, and I was saddened by the ending but it didn't have the magnificent vibe of the Force Awakens.

So that was that about what I did briefly, I just wanted to add my meal plan for the two days:
On Monday, I had oatmeal for breakfast (set for 500 calories), an apple, nuts, two clementines, and a banana as snacks during the day, a fish wrap for lunch (set for 600 calories) and squash soup for dinner (400 cals). I was quite happy with the diet and I think I managed well. Since I am not smoking regularly anymore, I am rewarding myself with a nice chocolate each night which actually has worked nicely so far! (power of habit, replacing the reward! trading cigarette for chocolate!). On Tuesday, I pretty much had a similar meal plan, the breakfast was a smoothie and for lunch I had the chicken korma wrap. after dinner, I felt an urge to eat and I satisfied it with a large zucchini which helped a lot.

Today (Wednesday!), I am going to work on slides for Phobic2Ice meeting, compile the information for Green SEAMS as discussed with Christian and finally try to work on Nima's proposal.

That's it for today (Tuesday!) Will be back to write Wednesday's post.

Never give up! Never! - Where it all began

Happy new year!

It's 2017 now and 2016 which many people may consider a sad, depressing year is passed. While I may agree that 2016 was not a particularly happy and joyful year in terms of what happened around the world i.e. war, Donald Trump, death of interesting people, refugee crisis, more war etc. I can say that personally, 2016 was a somewhat successful year for me. And here's five reasons I would remember 2016 for:

1- My 2016 new year resolution was to live a healthier and more active life. I weighted 106 kg in January 2016, had high liver enzymes indicating non-alcoholic fatty liver condition and I was very unhappy with my health and appearance. Now, in January 2017, I weight 88 kg, the enzymes level is back to normal and I am happier than ever about my health condition, weight and appearance. And I am going to continue this trend in 2017.

2- I started 2016 very hesitant about my abilities and skills both professionally and personally. Bahareh (love of my life and my partner in crime) had got me as a birthday present, a package of ski lessons. I never told her, but in my mind I was quite certain that this was going to be another one of those times that I try a new thing, I probably like it but can't enjoy it the way that I want to, so I would end up giving it up and move on. Guess what! That didn't happen. It was hard in the beginning, my progress was slow, especially compare to Bahareh herself, who has a talent for all sporty, adventurous things and I was really feeling pressure for not being able to learn skiing quickly enough. I still vividly remember those moments when I had to repeatedly take the magic carpet in the petit Viking track of Mont Saint-Sauveur to practice my left and right turns where only other people there, were 5 year-olds and keep telling myself "never give up! never!" Now, I can ski; I have skied in beautiful Dizin in Iran, and skiing has become my favourite winter activity. But this is not only about skiing! It's about me, overcoming my lack of confidence and believing in myself. In fact, everything good about 2016 started from this. Or at least I think so.

3- A lot of times in the past, I felt dissatisfied with the way that I would spend my time. I felt that usually I had no plans, spent too much centred around drinking and eating and did little that I would feel happy about later. I also felt that I was not really making a lot of memories and had difficulty remembering what I did during the past few years. This, in my opinion has multiple reasons. One reason was that I was too afraid to create memories that would later haunt me, like the memories I had in other periods of my life. I felt this effect was intensified by our immigration and life in Canada. I can't deny that this still may be a contributing factor, but I now no longer believe this is the main reason for my dissatisfaction with my life. Now I think that the main problem was I had no plans, neither short-term nor long-terms goals. I had let go of my grip on my life and was spending too much time being happy and kind of sedated. I not only had no plans for my life, I also didn't have a plan to how to manage (plan) my life. I am now working on this problem and elaborating more on this would need many more blog posts. I here suffice to say that in 2016, I managed to live life with a better plan. Not a plan that is universally considered better but something that I personally felt better about. I feel now that I am making progress in this regards and in 2017, this issue will be one of my main focuses to improve the quality of my life.

4- Squash - now I know that playing squash on a regular basis is not on its own a huge leap in my life. But squash is a symbol of change for me. As it began by skiing (Shah Ismail funded the Safavid dynasty) and continued by cycling (Shah Tahmasp strengthen it) but it was through squash that my transformation was completed (Shah Abbas lead it to its peak). Squash showed me the power of habit, the importance of consistence and an alternative path to improvement.

5- Last but not least, it the person who I am mentally. I think I improved in that regards in 2016 as well. To be honest, I was not particularly worried about my personal relations with Bahareh, my familiy and my friends in the beginning of 2016. Nevertheless, I fell that now, with all the changes that I mentioned before, I have had a quite nice improvement in terms of my personality, behaviour and relationships. This is something that gives me a calm but continuous sense of satisfaction and I would like for it to continue in 2017.

To sum up, 2016 was not an awful year for me and I hope 2017 is even a better and greater year. One of the things that I considered doing to improve my life, is having a daily blog. I am going to record my thoughts and contemplation every day. In fact, starting today, January 9, 2017, for 100 days, I am going to write a post daily and hopefully, will try not to miss even a single day. At the end of this period, this collection of writings will be my guide for the rest of the year.

I feel quite filled and full for today's post. This is my first experience as someone who always thought of writing but was very afraid of it. The text and my thoughts may seem scattered and all over the place but I will surely improve over time. For now, the only thing is that I will upload a post every single day, even a short one.

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